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Listening

We're now going to focus on listening skills. Let's start again with some simple statements about the case study script you read earlier.

Question 1

Think about the following reasons Lee's mother might have given for not sending Lee to the nursery any more. Click on the one you think applies.

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Listening

Answer

The correct answers are:

  • a) The other mothers were all stuck up
  • c) They were always late
  • e) Lee kept fighting with the other kids

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Listening

Question 2

What things did Lorraine report had happened when she tried to get Shane to eat? Click on all those that apply.

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Listening

Answer

The correct answers are:

  • a) Lorraine found getting Shane to eat a 'nightmare'
  • c) Lorraine forced the food into Shane
  • d) Shane vomited all over the settee
  • e) Lorraine thought Shane had done this to spite her

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Listening

How easy or hard was it for you to remember these things? Did you get distracted by so many things going on?

These questions focused on what had been heard, the factual content of what had been directly said (Koprowska, 2005). Often though workers need to also listen 'with the third ear' i.e. to what is not being said, to what may be being thought and felt, and to the wider social and cultural context of the communication (Trevithick, 2005).

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Listening

The following questions will help you see how well you listened to what was being conveyed at a deeper level (Howe, 1996). Think about the answers, then click on 'Next' to see some of our responses:

1. How do you think Lorraine was feeling when she opened the door and found out who was visiting?

2. How might Shane have been feeling when his mother was holding him and talking about how difficult he had been?

3. What do you think Lorraine was feeling about Shane when she said 'the little bleeder did it to spite me'?

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Listening

Compare with our suggestions

1. Lorraine said nothing to indicate she was pleased about the visit or hopeful that a social worker might be there to help. She allowed the social worker in but her tone of voice was reluctant. She looked quite wary. Lorraine could have been feeling anxious and frightened as many people think a social worker's job is to 'take people's children away'.

She may also have felt angry at being disturbed and intruded upon. She did not voice these feelings, probably because of them. The social worker would have had to listen to the 'music behind the words' (Malekoff, 1994) to gain a fuller understanding.

2. Although Lorraine is holding Shane, this is unlikely to be a warm or containing experience for him. Lorraine is looking at him in a way which suggests she is frustrated and irritated by him. Her body is likely to be tense and her voice is harsh.

Shane will not hear the words but he will hear the tone and feel her body language. He is likely to be unsettled, even frightened, by this and could feel rejected.

3. These words suggest Lorraine feels rather persecuted by Shane. She seems to feel his behaviour is deliberate. On the basis of this the worker would need to consider the strength of Lorraine's negative feelings to Shane. Overt anger to Shane was not obvious in Lorraine's voice but this might be misleading. Lorraine spoke rather hesitantly, watching the social worker as she spoke.

She might have been checking out to see if the worker is going to be shocked or critical before she decides whether or not to carry on.

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Listening

These questions show that a lot more is communicated than what people say directly. People's non-verbal behaviour can show their underlying feelings or situation and this may be as important as what is said. It may even contradict what they say.

With people who are less able to communicate verbally and/or directly, such observations by workers are even more vital, e.g. with children who do not yet have the vocabulary or cognitive skills to convey what they are thinking and feeling, and people with severe learning disabilities, dementia or mental illness.

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Listening

Depending on their circumstances and the consequences of information being known, some people may withhold or even falsify information. In such circumstances workers will need to:

  • draw together everything they have heard in the light of what they have seen
  • look for congruence or dissonance between these
  • consider what feelings may not be being expressed or what facts could be being hidden